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Septemboo, Octoboo, Novemboo....
2011-Nov-16, Wednesday 13:46October was a busy month. November is underway in much the same manner.
I actually made it to a Starport gathering for the 1st time in a year.
Alas, I was so late I missed most of the other people.
That day, I came down to Santa Clara for the Silicon Valley Emergency Communications System
quarterly breakfast, popped back up to Oakland for Moms memorial, went to dinner, back down
for the tail end of the Starport gathering.
Moms younger brother is only about 12 years older than I am, and is in the process of being
diagnosed for "memory issues". This means we are about to get right back on this roller
coaster all freaking over again. And this being my favorite uncle makes it worse.
Everyones been real nice about Moms passing. Its not like this was a surprise.
It played out just like the medical books told us. It was hardly the way Mom would have chosen, so it was a blessing in a way for Mom & dad both.
With life for the last 4 years wrapped around nightly visits to Salem Lutheran Home,
we are adjusting to this change in our time.
At some point, Ill post my remarks from the memorial. Humour has always been elusive to me,
but this time, the dry humour I inserted worked.
I was polishing it right up until the service started.
And the closest I came to crying was about 5 minutes before it started.
Aside from that, I had the whole "stiff upper lip" thing dialed in.
Despite the work Im doing for my client, it looks like they are bound and determined to
make all the same mistakes in the new building that they are in this one.
They have some guy they drafted off the burn in line who supposedly knows all about data
centres doing the layout and hes doing it all wrong. What they REALLY have is a guy who
knows how to put shelves in racks and pile crap on them.
I cant save these people from themselves. Cthulu knows, Ive tried.
I will have to standby and watch the line of lemmings march off to sea.
Hopefully they keep me right up until the move because I need to money, but after that,
Ill be ready to move on.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is in full swing for me.
Obviously Im ADD with a bit of Azbergers tossed in.
For a while, Ive suspected that Im bi-polar and likely Mom was too.
I cant afford it to get evaluated, but Im toying with the idea.
Im dealing with fears of stuff getting into my medical record and that complicating
life further down the road, and with the probable change in who I would be when medicated.
Obviously Id be calmer, but Id also be someone else.
Which is worse? Who I am ? Or the someone else I would turn into ?
Would my creativity suffer? Would my IQ suffer?
On the other hand, I began contemplating how much of my "bucket list" really matters.
Maybe its time to go. Perhaps, Im just plain "done".
I actually made it to a Starport gathering for the 1st time in a year.
Alas, I was so late I missed most of the other people.
That day, I came down to Santa Clara for the Silicon Valley Emergency Communications System
quarterly breakfast, popped back up to Oakland for Moms memorial, went to dinner, back down
for the tail end of the Starport gathering.
Moms younger brother is only about 12 years older than I am, and is in the process of being
diagnosed for "memory issues". This means we are about to get right back on this roller
coaster all freaking over again. And this being my favorite uncle makes it worse.
Everyones been real nice about Moms passing. Its not like this was a surprise.
It played out just like the medical books told us. It was hardly the way Mom would have chosen, so it was a blessing in a way for Mom & dad both.
With life for the last 4 years wrapped around nightly visits to Salem Lutheran Home,
we are adjusting to this change in our time.
At some point, Ill post my remarks from the memorial. Humour has always been elusive to me,
but this time, the dry humour I inserted worked.
I was polishing it right up until the service started.
And the closest I came to crying was about 5 minutes before it started.
Aside from that, I had the whole "stiff upper lip" thing dialed in.
Despite the work Im doing for my client, it looks like they are bound and determined to
make all the same mistakes in the new building that they are in this one.
They have some guy they drafted off the burn in line who supposedly knows all about data
centres doing the layout and hes doing it all wrong. What they REALLY have is a guy who
knows how to put shelves in racks and pile crap on them.
I cant save these people from themselves. Cthulu knows, Ive tried.
I will have to standby and watch the line of lemmings march off to sea.
Hopefully they keep me right up until the move because I need to money, but after that,
Ill be ready to move on.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is in full swing for me.
Obviously Im ADD with a bit of Azbergers tossed in.
For a while, Ive suspected that Im bi-polar and likely Mom was too.
I cant afford it to get evaluated, but Im toying with the idea.
Im dealing with fears of stuff getting into my medical record and that complicating
life further down the road, and with the probable change in who I would be when medicated.
Obviously Id be calmer, but Id also be someone else.
Which is worse? Who I am ? Or the someone else I would turn into ?
Would my creativity suffer? Would my IQ suffer?
On the other hand, I began contemplating how much of my "bucket list" really matters.
Maybe its time to go. Perhaps, Im just plain "done".
